Just a Thought!

Are you confident or just arrogant?

Jun 17 2015
By: Doron York
Categories: Just a Thought!
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One of the most controversial topics in today’s business life is the difference between Confidences and Arrogance. The reality is that people confuse confidence with arrogance and vice versa each and every day and of the week and twice on Sunday. The impact of this “Symptom” in the professional arena is the high cost of a loss of productivity, creativity and effective working relationships.

Given the fact that a large percentage of most societies consist of complacent amiable (about 65% of the US population) personality type, when they are in the presence of confident people they are being intimidated and label them as arrogant, which give them no power. I have worked with many successful business leaders and senior executives and for the most part; I find them highly confident; few of them are actually arrogant, which can be a byproduct of success, that is just life, yet I would say that the Pareto (Vilfredo Pareto) principle (80/20) will be applicable here as well.

Confidence– is generally described as a state of being certain, either, that a hypothesis or prediction is correct, or that a chosen course of action is the best or most effective. Self-confidence is having confidence in oneself.

Arrogance – Ar”ro*gance (#),  The act or habit of arrogating, or making undue claims in an overbearing manner. Pride which consists of exorbitant claims of rank, dignity, estimation, or power, or, which exalts the worth or importance of the person to an undue degree; proud contempt of others; lordliness; haughtiness; self-assumption; presumption.

Arrogant

  • Thinking they are always the smartest people in the room
  • Talking about things you think you know
  • They think they are never wrong
  • Tend to listen to their own voice and dismissing others
  • Always defending their points of view
  • Always have “The Answer”
  • A self-defense mechanism
  • knows no boundaries
  • Living in their own reality

Confident

  • Knowing when you are the smartest person in the room
  • Talking about thinks you actually know
  • Know and admit they are wrong with no loss of power
  • Listening to other people points of view as opportunities to learn
  • Do not have a need to prove anything to anyone.
  • Always exploring other “Answer (s)”
  • Self-expression
  • Know their own limits
  • Living in the real world

My observation is that the one creates Isolation, and the other creates assimilation.  You can look at it this way: an arrogant person lacks the self-confidence despite their success (if they had any) and a confident person, does not see the need to be arrogant about their success.

Confident people, can show up at times as authoritative, taking charge, step into the lead, especially in senior management position that can easily fall into the human trap of arrogance. The difference is that when you are listening to people as confident people, you can learn from them, when you listen to them as arrogant people, you stop listening and so the learning stops along with it.

I am not suggesting that one is better than the other, nor that one is right and the other is wrong. It just gives one a different experience of self and experience of life. It is a choice one makes in how one would like to experience life. And the choice is all yours.

So the question is again:

Are you confident or just arrogant? (You decide)

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It is not too little and it is not too late!

Jan 13 2010
By: Doron York
Categories: Just a Thought!
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The fact of the matter is that most of us, by default let the media tell us how to feel. Unfortunately, bad news sells and advertisers support what sells. The worst part about the media reporting bad news is that the general public believes it to be credible and factual. I have observed the media in the past year or so and noticed that for every opinion expressed by one there is a counter opinion expressed by another. No one knows what will happen next. If after all, human nature is somewhat unpredictable, especially at time of crisis, what do we do? Hold on to what we know, what is familiar and safe? How is it working for you so far?

No one wants to take responsibility and accountability for the crisis. I hear more so called “experts” criticizing the president or expressing their opinion on what he should NOT do, but no one will put a stake in the ground and say this is what “I” am willing to do. For better and for worse, at least it is a call for action.

When a house is on fire, obviously the first thing you need to do is to put out the fire and then research out the source of the fire. Clearly, if you do not put out the fire, you will have no house to save. So the question is, are we doing the right things? I am not sure. I do know one thing; we need to make sure we have our priorities in order.

So here is my message; don’t stand and watch the house burn to the ground. Do something, act, do not stand still, if you wait it will be too late.

Here are some power tips on how you can be more assertive:

  • Plan your work and work your plan, focus on what you CAN do vs. what you CAN’T do.
  • Listen to your customers and not to the media, they will tell you what you can or need to do.
  • You do not have to worry, we WILL hit rock bottom eventually and when we do, you will know it. The good news is that once we do the only remaining way is back up.
  • The human race is much more resilient and creative than what we give it credit for, we have survived worse.
  • Most of you that are reading this briefing, are too small to worry about the global economy and for the most part, there is nothing you can do in the immediate term to change it
  • There are a lot more important things in life than money. Family, friends, and loved ones; maybe these challenging times are god’s way (or whichever superior being you believe in) of telling us that it is time to smell the coffee.

I am not true to what I stand for if I do not say; it is not the bankers, the government or the AIG’s of the world that put us where we are. It is simply you and I.

  • We are the one that caused it. We are the ones that stood on the sidelines and did nothing.
  • We are the ones that paid for products when it made no sense.
  • We are the ones that said nothing when we knew that things were getting out of hand.
  • We are the ones that tolerated the greed
  • We, at least a significant number of us, were partners in crime when we became addicted to it. (You know who you are…)

As former president John F. Kennedy once said:

Ask not what can you do for your country but rather what can your country do for you? We need you; your president needs you, your government needs you, each and every one of us need each other’s support.

As a business coach and as a business owner, I promise that I will not participate in any conversations that do not lead to possibilities, I will stand behind our leadership, and I will hold myself and people around me accountable.

I expect them to wake up each morning and say:

Today is for the championship. Today I will make a difference, today is the day I will rise to challenge.

As human beings it is innate to not only dwell on doom and gloom, we have a tendency to turn a challenge into a crisis. Remember context is decisive.

As one on my favorites actor Sean Connery said in the move the Untouchables:

What are you prepared to do?

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    PAAR & Company is a global enterprise that specializes in the impossible. We are in the business of coaching corporate leaders in advancing forward those areas that are making an immediate, relevant and positive impact on their leadership presence and that are highly critical to the sustainability of their enterprise.